What separates us from the animal world? Google provides many answers but none satisfied me. It talked about biology and genetic difference. Even 2 human have different gene structure. Chimps and humans gene-structure differs by 1.2%. I searched for more subtle differences. Then came the language. But language seemed an effect and I thought there must be a cause behind that.

And the cause is nothing but the 'trust'. When we started trusting each other, their arose a need for communication and thus the language was born. Trust is a bio-psychological process by which we tend to believe on others for our welfare. I trust my family that they will always think good for me, and thus delaying my next exchequer(for my good :( ). I trust my friends they will curse me for the bhasad I have written :D. I trusted my professors that they would make my life more miserable in years to come(and it actually happened).

But the story of trust have taken new dimensions. We trust a piece of cotton approved by our government having words, " i promise the bearer to pay the sum of xyz rupees". We trust a magnetic tape to save our skin when we go for shopping or dining next time. We also trust that if next time we default our payment , then goons will be there on the doors. The government trusts us that what ever actions they take (any action also indicates inaction!!), we won't pay heed to anything. The politicians trust us how much they have fleeced us, we will vote them again, and giving them one more opportunity to fleece us :(.!! We trust that by using that cream we will become fairer; by that medicine we/it will become longer (you can report SPAM for this); using that shampoo, we will have hair-regrowth; by drinking that, we will become handsome.Trust have given rise to miracles!! And our trust is continuously being exploited!! Lets have a MOBILE MAXX TIMEOUT from this topic now.


Rohit Gattani

p.s The ideas and views expressed by the writer are his own and not copied from anywhere, and it was written under totally normal state, without the influence of any psycho-active compound.

Why Priyanka Chopra even bothers to use Pond’s Fairness Cream after being crowned as one of the most gorgeous lady in the world? Why John Abraham the heartthrob of Indian Film Industry, also a g_y icon, chooses to advertise for Garnier Activz Men- fairness cream for men. And fishes (like SS) becomes the prey.

In reality anything less than Chanel or Chantecaille will not even make it to their Vanity Van. But it is all the money game which makes this happen. Indin fairness cream industry is pegged at 800+ crores, with our good old ‘fair and lovely’ of HUL being the market leader with 63% shares. And in this race of fairness, the Indian men are not lagging behind – men’s fairness cream contributes around 29% to the total revenue. This 29% doesn’t counts people (like SR), whose ‘fair and lovely(women version)’ is kept locked in their closet and is only used when none is around. Fairness indeed does have a cost or may be they are too shy to use in front of others. And interestingly, the first fairness cream for men, ‘fair and handsome’ advertisement brought into light the plight of men secretly using women’s fairness cream.” Mard ho ke auraton wali cream kyon?”.

India, a multicultural, multireligious, multilingual, multicaste, multiethnic, etc etc etc etc is also a multicolor country. Just as shown in fairness meter of these products, the color spectrum indices of our country ranges from very dark to very fair. The western world believes that the caste system is the only thing which rots Indian society and color racism theirs. But as usual we have proved them wrong again. Even before their dark age(was it really their dark age?? I think it was their fair age as not a black soul lived on European land), we Indians were segregating people based on colors. White signified ‘good’ and black signified ‘evil’.a dn for proof you can check ancient Ayurvedic texts, which have preparations for getting fair!!

Why are we so obsessed with white? Why photo studio gives your shot an extra white touch? Why we have racist skin songs like”gori tera gaon”, “goriyan chura na mera jiyan”, etc etc?? Why Black people are teased for their color? Why our thinking is only SKIN DEEP??

p.s.

1. even white people are teased for their color now a days. (ghor kaliyug)

2.the writer doesn’t believes and supports color racism or any form of racism.

3.SS or SR could (or couldn’t) be fictional characters.

Rohit Gattani

*Omegle is a service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, you pick another user at random and you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous.*

Scene 1: In a site called Omegle, a guy is chatting with a girl(supposedly; it could be a male faking a girl) for last 15 minutes. The girl asks the question,” Which country?”. The boy replies,”India”. The girl quits.

Scene 2: me(not me actually but my friend SP):hi
Stranger: hiiiiiiii….
Me: gun or doll?
Stranger: doll.
Me: wow!! Me gun..
Stranger: nice meeting you.
Me: whats the time in yr clock?
Stranger: 2.00 pm (1200 GMT)
Me: let me guess yr country?
Me: germany?
Stranger: awesome…yrs?
Me: 5.30 pm
*stranger googles and finds out it is India and the connection ends*

Scene 3: me(obviously it is SP): hi..
Stranger: hiii….
Me: asl
Stranger: 18 f england
Stranger: u?
Me: 22 m india
*connection ends8

So, what is wrong with INDIANS?

Could be many reasons………
• Firstly, we are still the ’browns’. We are still the other race. As SRK told in MNIK there are 3 events in western world- BC, AD and 9/11. After 9/11, Asians are seen in western world with contempt. Indian origin people living outside for many generations are still asked about their identity in the western world.
• Secondly, the pervert nature of Indians frequenting this site. Their intentions becomes clear after chatting for sometime. I took the pain of entering the virtual world and found that other world’s women are not comfortable with asian men; but the first reason cannot be obliterated.
• Come to scene 1: a guy faking a girl’s profile is actually from India(and no wonder my friend SP was involved in such instances and he was faking a girl’s profile). And who would like to chat with a fellow Indian; that also male. This is the third reason.
• Fourthly, Indians are emotional fools(most of them). After chatting for sometime they really get involved in the relationship(friendship or other purpose I know not). They start asking for fb and gtalk ids. Dude get a life!! People are frequenting this because they want to breathe free and enjoy the privacy. KD(one of my friend) even waited for 3 hours for an omegle friend for gtalk and she never turned up. Poor KD…

There could be various other reasons which I know not. *if u have any then please post*

p.s.
• SP and KD could (or couldn’t) be fictional characters.
• People please refrain from damaging nation’s identity and learn controlling hormone levels.

Once upon a time in a jungle, wealthiest among all, lived a tiger. The king health was waning, and the tiger started gaining power. His rise was attributed to teasing and sending away of poor animals who came from neighbouring jungles and those who did not supported the law of the powerful. The Lion never knew the tiger would become so powerful that he would undermine the Lion. The Lion himself encouraged the tiger for his smaller benefits. The tiger’s thirst for power was insatiable. His followers grew in numbers, and his policy were echoed throughout the jungle. The tiger became the real KING.

Time went by, and the tiger became weak. Other animals slowly realized his policy was not good, and on the other hand those poor animals helped the state only. The larger cause was being sacrificed for the purpose of the jungle.

The tiger had two sons. One of the son got estranged from the family an with his supporters restarted buzzing out poor animals with a new vigour. The chote tiger seemed to be the next bade tiger. Now to gain control, the bade tiger had to do something. He started driving out poor animals again. But, chote tiger garnered as much publicity as he could with that. That idea was passé.

And he came to an idea. Why not oppose the game of the people. The game of the people was very popular in the whole forest. Bade tiger issued fatwa against people of rival forest taking part in the game. There live a famous goat- the target, who was loved and admired over all the jungles, not only friendly but also rival jungles. His “may- may” was acclaimed throughout the world. The goat family had a great history, his father being a fighter against the oppressors. Bade tiger charged him with heinous crimes like anti-forest, of belonging to rival forest; while the goat only promoted peace. But the goat raised his voice and in the jungle also, he garnered support. The animal did not want another publicity gimmick by bade tiger…………

The story is still waiting for the end. But now it is our time to act. It is our time to realize whom we support. It is our time to be judicious. It is our time to decide whether we want another tiger to rise again. It is Our Time..

p.s-
• No brownie points for guessing who the characters are.
• The article was not written to offend anyone.
• Comments are welcome. Feel free to post.
• The writer is still a noob and is honing his skills.

Hello, Helllo,Halo, Hallo, Hellllllllooo

Nothing wrong in saying a hello, right? If I say there is a m then does it rings a bell. Read forward the whole alarm will start buzzing and you won't snooze that.

To make it clear, I am not opposing 'hello' based on cultural or religious grounds but on a background which everyone denies but is raison d'etre for everything - money.

Digest there facts:

1.543 million mobile customers in India.

2.37 million wireline customers in India

3.Around 200 mn per-paise customers in India.

On an average 5 calls are made by a user, then there are 1900 mn calls made by per-minutes plan users and 1000 mn by per-pase plan users. For you to say a hello, and te other caller to revert back it takes approx 2 seconds.

Now consider this for per paise plan users-

· 1000mn calls a day

· 2000mn seconds a day

· 2000mn paise a day

· 20mn INR a day

· 7300 mn INR a year

Now for per-minute customers , speaking hello in not that injurious as they could be used to fill the pulse. Chance of a call being carry forwarded for the next pulse is 1/30.

· 1900 mn calls a day

· 63 mn calls being forwarded a day

· 31.5 mn INR lost in day (50p for each call)

· 11500 mn rupees a year

So by saying a hello, we are losing 18300mn INR. Never thought a single word could be so costly. And the most beautiful part of this is we can go without hello. I wonder why Caller Identification was made!!

P.S.

· All the relevant statistics and facts have benn taken from internet. Writer is not responsible for the authenticity of sources.

· Writer don’t give a damn, if you still don’t stop speaking hello. Its not his money you are wasting

· Writer is also slowly giving up thehabit of speaking hello. Old habits die hard.

Rohit Gattani

As february sets in, a new hysteria spreads over. I even overheard someone saying -" Hey feb has come and I am so excited". Truly its the month of raised hormone levels. Hormone intentions gets more intensified.

Everybody seems occupied except a few souls like me, who feels like they are hosting "Lonely Planet". New birds are seen chirping more and more, and seasoned ones are looking for new preys. Everyone is keen to welcome St. Valentines day, feb the 14th. I guess no saint is revered more than St. Valentine. I contemplated that feb is a vicious month as love is in the air and more people are likely to get affected by this air-borne disease.


New kids are found dating and talking more and more. No doubt, its a tiresomemonth for telecom operators. The old kids find new pranks, the lost kids getsback to the path, and lonely writes such a blog.

But newbies are the ones which get most affected. The double edged sword called love cuts their pocket as well as mind. the epigram - "love makes you blind" should have been "love makes you retarded".

Feb is called the 'month of love'. But is it really so - More number of child birth takes place in september; shouldn't december get the throne ??

p.s.-
1.The writer's observation are not fictious and he dont gives a damn if anybody
gets annoyed.
2.The writer is no anti-romanticism, thought he hangs a nazi flag in his room. That
is to display his room is no better than a Nazi concentration Camp
3. The writer is not against the month of Feb ; rather he loves it, as it only has
only 28 or 29 days. (Bania Philosophy- may be next blog)
4. Some of the facts and epigrams have appeared in writer's fb status updates
and tweets.

The ad goof up exposed the lethargy of DAVP(Directorate of Audio- Visual And Print). This ad faltered on 2 aspects –

1. Carrying a photo of former Pakistani Air Chief Marshal, Tanvir Mehmood Ahmed. Lots of article is available on web for this thing and I am not going to elaborate more on this.

2. And most Importantly, why on earth did an ad which meant to prevent foeticide and celebrate girls day did not carry any female star other than Sonia Gandhi and Krishna Tanth.

The ad showed kapil dev and other sons of soil. Wouldn’t it had been better if it had showed some female virtuosos like Kiran Bedi, Indira Nooyi, Kalpana Chwala. The message of the ad was very banal – “ Suppose your mother was killed before she lived”. Its like indirect marketing – asking people suffering from dental problems to buy certain toothpaste because you are getting tooth brush free with it, and not concentrating on the medicinal value.

In a country where the girl child is killed mainly for dowry purpose this type of advertisement certainly doesn’t work. It would have been better if DAVP would have distributed books among the worst affected region with heroic saga of great women. I think this is the best ad which “promotes” female foeticide because we look at immediate gain not which is destined to happen in future.

And now one more question arises, shouldn’t Govt. Agencies be given a professional touch??

Consider the following facts-

1. In 08-09 Govt. expenditure in print media was 277.35 crore in print media alone.

2. The ad for national girls day could have costed any way between 5-10 crore for leading dailies in India.

3. Even Cola companies have comparable print media expenditure and they are managed by professionals.

With such goof-ups and such imbecilic approach, I certainly think its time to involve professionals In DAVP.