But things changed with this winter setting in. On 1st of December, I married Jahanvi. World Aids Day! I always made a point to wear red coloured badge on that day. But on one such day last year, Maneesh asked me what is the use of wearing that badge for me? To him it seemed that number 11 batsman Nehra fully padded and wearing a helmet and seating in pavilion, when India has not lost a single wicket in 49th over. But I was fully determined to change the situation. If uneducated filthy politician can run a state or country, then why cannot I can not even run a single girl!! I am very much like them – sort of uneducated and love for money before anything else. And on 1st December, 2010 I married Jahanvi.
A grand wedding, which Chennai never experienced. The whole Taj Chola was booked. Many of the gujju stars from kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi came. All this courtesy to Siddhu Mama. Since, Siddhu Mama did not have any heir, he made a point that my marriage would be as grand as possible. Babuji was initially not convinced for this but gave away to demands of Siddhu Mama. You wont even believe that for my bachelors, he got foreign dancers from London. All the chefs were flown in from London from his hotels. It was the grandest affair you can imagine.
I won the challenge with Maneesh. I wonder Jahanvi would also have been the dream of ch88491 sourav in his college days. After all I have heard you cant find a real good looking female in engineering college!! I even sent my marriage card. I could even imagine that loser ch88491’s face.
And the first night!!
Awful!! Bloody ch88491 maneesh was successful. He hide 108 phones with alarm set at 3 min interval in each phone in my suite at Taj Chola. And when ever I was about to start, the phone started ringing. B3426c463 maneesh. And when I switched off the last phone, it was already morning and someone knocked at my door!!
Babuji died. The news which I received on the very next day of my most happiest day. Babuji died of asthama attack and no one was there with him at night at hotel room. Siddhu Mama broke into the room of Babuji with the help of hotel staffs.
It was 14th Feb, 0000 pm, 73 days since my marriage and I didn’t …………..WTF!!
It was the valentine’s day… I was in my bed and Jahanvi was also not around.To outside world I only had one window to communicate – the 0.facebook.Thanks airtel for that. I had a phone but that was only for incoming, as doctor advised me to remain isolated from the world to improve my health and I was devoid of any communication channel.And I never told this to Jahanvi. It was my single source of entertainment and to the world.I was going through valentine’s day status of my friends and was getting depressed more and more. That was the day, I thought..and valentine’s day is definitely a better day to start your career rather than world aids day. And I exactly know where it was, Maneesh’s gift. He told his gift is something “ jo deewana bana de.” And I exactly knew what it was. I searched and at the top of all gifts was kept the Dumas parcel. I never opened that parcel after that chance meeting with Jahanvi in bus. And what a foreplay it will make, if I also arrange things which Jahanvi likes on the bed. I tear opened the parcel, and there it was DUMAS……….
It was not some Alexander Dumas or something not even close to it. It was Drug Users manual about screwing – Screwing the life and screwing everything. It was issued by world drugs free world. A wrong parcel. But it was still DUMAS. And I opened the book. And chapter 5 opened - LSD.
And the first line which was written was – The song “lucy in the sky with diamonds” when abbreviated is LSD. It is generally believed that this song was written by The Beatles keeping in mind LSD as inspiration, just like yellow submarine refers to pot. Here it was the song which I always heard after drinking Sprite. And I read the chapter.
And the hallucinations symptoms were same as I experienced after consuming sprite. The LSDified sprite was the cause for my acidic thoughts, my hallucinations, the vibrancy of colors, and every thought coming from my mind at that time. I was being intoxicated by Sprite but who was behind it. I sank back in my bed. I opened the TV and Dabangg was being played. Another one of the things which me and Jahanvi discussed. And the scenne was the cause for dimple kapadia’s death was disclosed. She also suffered from asthama and was put to death by cheddi singh. Bapuji also suffered from asthama attack…………My heart sank low. But these things were so unconnected. May be it was just a bad dream. But may be it as true. I wanted to find the truth. Who could have drugged me?? I was only in contact with Jahanvi, and she can never do that. But if not her than who elso could!?
.....................to be continued
Showing posts with label gujju. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gujju. Show all posts
For new readers, you can read the first part at:
http://chasmiss.blogspot.com/2010/10/sprite-and-dumas.html
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=435343221231
I needed a sip, a sip of sprite. Life without it became indispensable. A sip and all the worries and tensions went away in a flash, just like life flies out from the victims when Voldemort uses AVADA KEDAVRA.
Those times were definitely not good. I was bedridden, babuji died 2 months ago, siddhu mama was not keeping good in London. My whole life was in jeopardy. The Chennai winters (do they really exist?) were harsh for me and it appeared that I won’t be able to make it to another spring.
I used to be a fearless young man, a fact you must have acknowledged by now! The way in which I proposed to Jahanvi! I didn’t even add lord before Voldemort and I didn’t even call him – “You know who” ! Loser Souls!! But things changed. Every drop of sprite brought me closer to death, but that very drop was life for me! I could see the vibrancy of colours, the very shades of fluorescent colours incited me. Red filled fear in me, yellow made things look infinite. The checks in lungis made me think of the mathematical patterns, although I did poorly in maths. Math was a binary affair for me because all my math papers carried 0 marks and some times if teacher was gracious he awarded 1 mark. That ch88491 Sourav also only understood binary, he always got 100! I could hear the rhythm in all loud cranky south Indian songs. It seemed Lucy in the Sky with diamonds being played in my head all the time. I was filled with acidic thoughts My life was on the edge of extinction. I wondered whether this is the call from heaven!
Talking of death, I was sure I would go to heaven!! My friend Maneesh said that there are 2 ways to live this life. He called it the “ANGELS” in heaven concept. Choice 1: commit all the sin in this life itself. AT the final stage, you will either go to hell or heaven, and there are no intermediate state. Play it bad very, very bad but play safe..Choice 2: Don’t commit any sin, be good and fair to all. At the end of this life, thousands of angels would be waiting for you in heaven and enjoy the luxuries afterlife. I always found it discriminatory against female (angels in heaven). Even the caretaker of heaven is a chauvinist. Then I realized he was not; that’s the reason I will go to heaven! But I was wondering whether I would be able to distribute my time between females from this world and angels there. Maybe if sometime I would get bored with angels, then I would have spared my free time with earthy souls.
Well, he chose the first way and I chose the second way. That’s the mistake we gujju’s don’t make. We always think in terms of long time investment. And it was not a forceful choice! I am a young rich smart intelligent gujju and I would get 100+ proposals each day for my profile in shaadi.com!! Star Plus was going to approach me with 3rd season of swamyar series – “ Saharsh ka Syamwar”, but before that I found Jahanvi!
It was not the first time that I fell in love. I did that on previous 53 times! But it was the first time I fell in true love. I always thought I will find love on 1st attempt! Even dada was thrown out of Indian squad after his first series, so how can I manage success on my first attempt! I can’t even dare to think beyond dada! Then I thought may be 7th attempt would be lucky for me, but it wasn’t.13th, the unlucky would prove lucky for me because I was so different from others, I thought but was proved wrong again. I benchmarked several other numbers; and finally fixed at nana’s 56. “jaise ek machar aadmi ko hinjada bana deta hai waise hi ek ladki aadmi ko kutta bana deti hai”. If not 56, then never! After that I would have married any girl chosen by Babuji. I did a study and realized that what I was really missing was early mover advantage.Love at first sight! That was the solution!
But that day was different, it was the first time someone accepted my proposal. I was standing behind her and sipping sprite.54th time and nervous because it was the first time my early mover tactic was in place! People say nothing is professional, every thing is damn personal. Well I say that nothing is personal, everything is damn business!! Love is also a business after all. Someone's gain is loss for another. There are missed opportunities. There are new potentials. To succeed in the market, you need to develop and improvise every moment. Just as Indian consumer market shows different sentiments in contrary to western markets, so do Indian Love. With dwindling male to female ratio, the demand for female has exceeded supply. And just think about the demand of a good looking girl! A male here has become product. He has to package and advertise himself to attract the females. The richer a man, higher the chance of his success of getting picked up! More money for little value! And sometimes I laugh at us, we call the fairer sex “maal”(product), but in reality we have ourselves become a maal(product), waiting to be picked up!
She was typing something on her phone, but I didn’t receive any thing! But she was continuously typing back! I was a fool, I thought. I should have realized early, all the time she was texting on her phone! After 5 minutes of restlessness, I realized my chances were as low as a bowler hitting a double-century in a test match. But Gillespie did it, so why not me. When I was about to get down, the text flashed!
Jahanvi: dnt u think its rlly early, we jus met!
(I replied back) me: I alwys believed in love at 1st sight, mybe i m wrng!
Jahanvi: mybe not..but I think its 2 early.
The last text was definitely a success. The keyword was ‘maybe not’
Me: was your parent’s a love marriage?
She: no! it was arranged!
Me: r yr parents happy?
She: may be. I don’t know. They died 2 years ago.
(Oops! A blunder again!!)
Me: sorry!! mybe you can take time and decide. I will be waiting for you forever! Yours, Saharsh.
She: no need 2 say soooorry. It wasn’t your mistake! but they were a very happy couple!
She: I m nt very sure abt love. last time the guy who proposed me turned out 2 be a con. And im definitely not sure about luv at 1st sight.
Me: arng marriages r nothing but manifestations of love at 1st sight. U see yr partner and hv to tell at that very moment whether it’s a yes or a no!
She: I don’t believe this world! Its not so good as it appears to be! Everyone is waiting to poach another!
(yeah she was right, if not her then some one else)
Me: you always believed the world. Give a chance and believe me! Hamein bhi khidmat ka mauka do rani!
She: rani! That sounded like a b-grade hindi movie dialogue! Yuck!
Me: but for me you are a queen! I always thought I will meet angel in heaven, never thought I will find one here itself!
She: I am a queen, but could be of another king!
(This text thing was not leading my case anywhere. And the last stop of bus was coming near.)
Me: look behind, maybe your king could be waiting for you!
She: looks like u have read a lot of amar chitra katha! Fairy tales and the good world!
Amar chitra katha, sounded familiar! Brand new Iphone 32gb comes to rescue again. I googled and found it was some comic series! Reading and me, what a joke!
(I replied back)Me: I don’t know whether I live in a fairy world or not, but I know that angels still exist. I know that my queen is near me. Maybe your king is also near you!
She turned her head around. My heart started beating so fast that I felt my veins will burst out! My whole body froze! And the next moment I realized she was in my arms!!
Mission Accomplished!!
I was the happiest man on earth, but would have never thought that things would change so fast!
But within few months, I was bedridden needed only sprite. I was free falling but not in love, but in the valley of death! KJo is not a paranoid after all, life can indeed change in an instant, life is all K3G.
PS:
* Part3 to be released soon
* Dumas – the question is still left unanswered!
* Thanks for the time and patience you have spent to read this piece of bakar/bhasad!
* All characters and events appearing in this work could be fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is not even remotely coincidental.
* Your valuable feedback/comment/review is most welcome.
Rohit Gattani
www.chasmiss.blogspot.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some excerpts from part3 :
But things changed with this winter setting in. On 1st of December, I married Jahanvi. World Aids Day! I always made a point to wear red coloured badge on that day. But on one such day last year, Maneesh asked me what is the use of wearing that badge for me? To him it seemed that number 11 batsman Nehra fully padded, wearing a helmet and seating in pavilion, when India has not lost a single wicket.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://chasmiss.blogspot.com/2010/10/sprite-and-dumas.html
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=435343221231
I needed a sip, a sip of sprite. Life without it became indispensable. A sip and all the worries and tensions went away in a flash, just like life flies out from the victims when Voldemort uses AVADA KEDAVRA.
Those times were definitely not good. I was bedridden, babuji died 2 months ago, siddhu mama was not keeping good in London. My whole life was in jeopardy. The Chennai winters (do they really exist?) were harsh for me and it appeared that I won’t be able to make it to another spring.
I used to be a fearless young man, a fact you must have acknowledged by now! The way in which I proposed to Jahanvi! I didn’t even add lord before Voldemort and I didn’t even call him – “You know who” ! Loser Souls!! But things changed. Every drop of sprite brought me closer to death, but that very drop was life for me! I could see the vibrancy of colours, the very shades of fluorescent colours incited me. Red filled fear in me, yellow made things look infinite. The checks in lungis made me think of the mathematical patterns, although I did poorly in maths. Math was a binary affair for me because all my math papers carried 0 marks and some times if teacher was gracious he awarded 1 mark. That ch88491 Sourav also only understood binary, he always got 100! I could hear the rhythm in all loud cranky south Indian songs. It seemed Lucy in the Sky with diamonds being played in my head all the time. I was filled with acidic thoughts My life was on the edge of extinction. I wondered whether this is the call from heaven!
Talking of death, I was sure I would go to heaven!! My friend Maneesh said that there are 2 ways to live this life. He called it the “ANGELS” in heaven concept. Choice 1: commit all the sin in this life itself. AT the final stage, you will either go to hell or heaven, and there are no intermediate state. Play it bad very, very bad but play safe..Choice 2: Don’t commit any sin, be good and fair to all. At the end of this life, thousands of angels would be waiting for you in heaven and enjoy the luxuries afterlife. I always found it discriminatory against female (angels in heaven). Even the caretaker of heaven is a chauvinist. Then I realized he was not; that’s the reason I will go to heaven! But I was wondering whether I would be able to distribute my time between females from this world and angels there. Maybe if sometime I would get bored with angels, then I would have spared my free time with earthy souls.
Well, he chose the first way and I chose the second way. That’s the mistake we gujju’s don’t make. We always think in terms of long time investment. And it was not a forceful choice! I am a young rich smart intelligent gujju and I would get 100+ proposals each day for my profile in shaadi.com!! Star Plus was going to approach me with 3rd season of swamyar series – “ Saharsh ka Syamwar”, but before that I found Jahanvi!
It was not the first time that I fell in love. I did that on previous 53 times! But it was the first time I fell in true love. I always thought I will find love on 1st attempt! Even dada was thrown out of Indian squad after his first series, so how can I manage success on my first attempt! I can’t even dare to think beyond dada! Then I thought may be 7th attempt would be lucky for me, but it wasn’t.13th, the unlucky would prove lucky for me because I was so different from others, I thought but was proved wrong again. I benchmarked several other numbers; and finally fixed at nana’s 56. “jaise ek machar aadmi ko hinjada bana deta hai waise hi ek ladki aadmi ko kutta bana deti hai”. If not 56, then never! After that I would have married any girl chosen by Babuji. I did a study and realized that what I was really missing was early mover advantage.Love at first sight! That was the solution!
But that day was different, it was the first time someone accepted my proposal. I was standing behind her and sipping sprite.54th time and nervous because it was the first time my early mover tactic was in place! People say nothing is professional, every thing is damn personal. Well I say that nothing is personal, everything is damn business!! Love is also a business after all. Someone's gain is loss for another. There are missed opportunities. There are new potentials. To succeed in the market, you need to develop and improvise every moment. Just as Indian consumer market shows different sentiments in contrary to western markets, so do Indian Love. With dwindling male to female ratio, the demand for female has exceeded supply. And just think about the demand of a good looking girl! A male here has become product. He has to package and advertise himself to attract the females. The richer a man, higher the chance of his success of getting picked up! More money for little value! And sometimes I laugh at us, we call the fairer sex “maal”(product), but in reality we have ourselves become a maal(product), waiting to be picked up!
She was typing something on her phone, but I didn’t receive any thing! But she was continuously typing back! I was a fool, I thought. I should have realized early, all the time she was texting on her phone! After 5 minutes of restlessness, I realized my chances were as low as a bowler hitting a double-century in a test match. But Gillespie did it, so why not me. When I was about to get down, the text flashed!
Jahanvi: dnt u think its rlly early, we jus met!
(I replied back) me: I alwys believed in love at 1st sight, mybe i m wrng!
Jahanvi: mybe not..but I think its 2 early.
The last text was definitely a success. The keyword was ‘maybe not’
Me: was your parent’s a love marriage?
She: no! it was arranged!
Me: r yr parents happy?
She: may be. I don’t know. They died 2 years ago.
(Oops! A blunder again!!)
Me: sorry!! mybe you can take time and decide. I will be waiting for you forever! Yours, Saharsh.
She: no need 2 say soooorry. It wasn’t your mistake! but they were a very happy couple!
She: I m nt very sure abt love. last time the guy who proposed me turned out 2 be a con. And im definitely not sure about luv at 1st sight.
Me: arng marriages r nothing but manifestations of love at 1st sight. U see yr partner and hv to tell at that very moment whether it’s a yes or a no!
She: I don’t believe this world! Its not so good as it appears to be! Everyone is waiting to poach another!
(yeah she was right, if not her then some one else)
Me: you always believed the world. Give a chance and believe me! Hamein bhi khidmat ka mauka do rani!
She: rani! That sounded like a b-grade hindi movie dialogue! Yuck!
Me: but for me you are a queen! I always thought I will meet angel in heaven, never thought I will find one here itself!
She: I am a queen, but could be of another king!
(This text thing was not leading my case anywhere. And the last stop of bus was coming near.)
Me: look behind, maybe your king could be waiting for you!
She: looks like u have read a lot of amar chitra katha! Fairy tales and the good world!
Amar chitra katha, sounded familiar! Brand new Iphone 32gb comes to rescue again. I googled and found it was some comic series! Reading and me, what a joke!
(I replied back)Me: I don’t know whether I live in a fairy world or not, but I know that angels still exist. I know that my queen is near me. Maybe your king is also near you!
She turned her head around. My heart started beating so fast that I felt my veins will burst out! My whole body froze! And the next moment I realized she was in my arms!!
Mission Accomplished!!
I was the happiest man on earth, but would have never thought that things would change so fast!
But within few months, I was bedridden needed only sprite. I was free falling but not in love, but in the valley of death! KJo is not a paranoid after all, life can indeed change in an instant, life is all K3G.
PS:
* Part3 to be released soon
* Dumas – the question is still left unanswered!
* Thanks for the time and patience you have spent to read this piece of bakar/bhasad!
* All characters and events appearing in this work could be fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is not even remotely coincidental.
* Your valuable feedback/comment/review is most welcome.
Rohit Gattani
www.chasmiss.blogspot.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some excerpts from part3 :
But things changed with this winter setting in. On 1st of December, I married Jahanvi. World Aids Day! I always made a point to wear red coloured badge on that day. But on one such day last year, Maneesh asked me what is the use of wearing that badge for me? To him it seemed that number 11 batsman Nehra fully padded, wearing a helmet and seating in pavilion, when India has not lost a single wicket.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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